re-call

25.3.09

ive got so much to say;
യു സ്പൊഇല്ട് എവെര്യ്തിംഗ് ഐ വാന്റെദ് ടോ സെ.ഐ കുല്ട്ന്റ്റ് വ്രിറെ ബൌട്ട് മൈ ക്യാമ്പ്,ആന്‍ഡ് ഐ വാന്റെദ് ടോ വ്രിറെ ബൌട്ട് ഇറ്റ് ഇന്‍ ദ വെരി ഫസ്റ്റ് പോസ്റ്റ് അഫ്റ്റ് ഇമ ബാക്ക്.ഗടി ഐ വിശേദ് ഇവെ സീന്‍ ഇറ്റ് അഫ്റ്റ് ഐ പോസ്റെദ് ബൌട്ട് മൈ ക്യാമ്പ്.

hahah camp was quite a success ba :D we got ratings of 3-4/5 from the sec2s (: met many faces i never noticed in the sec2 cohort, and one was even jiarong's brother LOL.(they look totally different) but the attendance for this camp really disappointing ): 21 i think.wth but we still could get on with the camp HAHAHA.had lotsa fun in the first night@conf.room with all the singing and ISH(got to know more bout sctn.members and even people ive known for like..6years)second night was not bad too;nightwalk.but the sec2s super imba.walk around the sch like a walk in the park.know why.cos we cant scare them and not even stories .________. station@audi and the sec2s just walk around in the dark to search for clues la wth.in.a.pair. WOW.
next morning heard of the NW experiences of patrollers(want know come find me) freaked out totally.esp at the wushu training ground and service road.
had a comm conf with sec4s and mr.chia aft the sec2s broke camp.he was quite open,listening to our feedback and viceversa.heard feedback from sec4s aft mr chia too.generally the meeting was quite okay..just was pissed when i got accused wtf.but feedbacks were useful la :D

oral yesterday..theresa jafie super jing zhang and jafie got cold..was discussing possible topics with theresa zann kenneth kevin..but so much discussion(and planning o.o)..i screwed it.purposely went to a nie teacher but..she experienced.__. corrected me in my wrong words..but quite friendly.but aft she corrected,i realised how lousy my chinese was .___.
there goes my marks.

i think its time huh.
my prev post was a straight-aft-i-read-it reaction.i believe anyone would had.know why i had such reaction?cos whatever you wrote, doesnt match the entire story over these 3 years, and ultimately, it doesnt match you.
first of all, i know what triggered all these.its true i helped him,giving him the test questions.im not denying it now.i didnt tell you,guess why.ask yourself kay.what would you have said if i told you then "yea, im writing for him" brain block?let me tell you kay.you would have gone "why help him?he wont care if you help him.why must you treat him so well?" and i dont want all these kay.you still remembered the past times when you two kept saying i shouldnt care bout them cos they dont care.i shouldnt help them cos they dont care.well, you dont know them so i kept my mouth shut.and then you started saying if i didnt have a friend like him, how my grades would have been much better and so on.i know you were trying to help.but imagine if i was talking to you about one of your best friends, badmouthing your friend to you, telling you to keep away.how would you have felt?i know them better than you do.im totally fine if you talk about me, but not my friends.not to say my best friends. so i can say i told that lie in class to you, was to keep the topic of my friend away. but you chose to take it that i deliberately kept secrets from you.for once, in what way is this a secret huh.i simply just wanted you to keep the topic away.this is a lie for you. and you said it was something you had already known.cant you adjust that sentence.its contradicting how you said you already know but still went up with her to ask him bout it.but in your words, its true i told a lie. but it isnt true when you say ive told many to you.SINCE WHEN.why dont you state, and i check if youve made any mistakes.this is something i cant swallow, when you accuse me, and you dont have a base.
thats done with the lies i guess. then now bout the conflicts we had over the past years.
first of all. you said you were always the one to initiate patchup.HELLO.you sure.and i was never waiting for you to talk to me.im perfectly fine if you speak.and perfectly fine if you do not.so..dont make yourself out to be sucha saint.
secondly.you say i took it like nothing happened and simply carried on like nothing had ever happened.think back kay.you told me once before, that you dont even remember why we had conflicts in the first place.so isnt it contradicting again that you said i was the one that doesnt remember, which isnt the case.i live my life as normal,(who wouldnt)but do you think ~~you wont~~ i'll ever forget what happenedarent i right to say what you said was reflecting back to you
that should set you thinking.if it doesnt, carry on reading kay.
and in your own para you said many things insulting my many definitions and principles in friendships kay.plus, you dont even have the basic rights.you say you tried so hard to maintain this relationship.so hard to build up the so many things in friendships like trust.to put it crudely, you never did contribute anything like trust kay.so what rights do you have to rant about it.you said you tried so very hard and i simply didnt care.i think your definitions of friendships are simply crooked, seriously.firstly you say it like you treasure this friendship so much, and so on.but what have you done actually?one that left the deepest impression was when i was sick and at home.what did you say to me?not a single word of whether i was feeling better like many people would ask.never told me automatically what work we needed to complete in class.and there was once i had a virus infection kay.virus infection.i wasnt in sch on thur and fri.i asked you over sms what work there was.you said you were lazy to type.ok, i asked others.but on sunday night,at 10plus when you know thats my sleeping time, you called me to tell me what homework there was.and it was only till then i realised some of the work were impt and i didnt even know bout it.cmon maybe you were busy.but on a sunday night?!if it was in the aftnoon i will still thank you like crazy for saving me from homework due on monday.but yet.and also, all the other times i was sick.mind you, i was sick at home and you were saying things like i wasnt really sick, telling me not to skip school and your tone in the sms was simply unbearable.maybe you have a way of talking in smses, but how could you.how can you say i was ponnin sch WHEN I WAS SICK STAYING AT HOME WTH.not a single word of concern from you.is that what a good friend(you think you're one)should do?when your "good friend" gets sick at home you accuse that person of skipping sch, leaving you all alone in class.and you never did ask if i need any help in my work AT ALL.you know what all these told me??you cared more about yourself than your friends.everything is all about you.you.you.maybe now you might disagree with me,because of your realtionship now with your best friend.but in this relationship.ours.you simply didnt care.so how could you push the blame to me huh.what have i ever done to you.everything that weakened the friendship,came from you.it disgusts me when you make yourself sound like a saint and sound like you're the victim in all these.its such irony seriously.you speak as if you were supporting this all these while, and im the one destroying it.whos the one destroying it here?plus you made yourself sound if i'd talk to you you'll be a nice person and talk to me.cmon i dont need all these kay.and that line was one of the most ironic line.who was the one that ignored me when i spoke?who was the one that pretended to look away when i talk so clearly?so if you dao-ed me in the first place,naturally i wont talk more.but you're making things seem like im dao-ing you and you're trying to talk to me.wtf it all started with you kay.all the other friendships we tried to establish over again these years,all started over again with you, and ended with you.
if you'd ask me, friendships dont need supporting if they were meant to last.and to completely destroy a friendship, it didnt even start.so this friendship you were so-calling trying to hold on to, you were supporting it, and destroying it yourself with your own hands.is that what you think of our friendship?
edit//and i really wish you wont do what you always did aft things happened.to pull people round me away
and your friend there,i bet you'll talk.if you have got so much to say,whether of my language(i can write better) or me,i didnt ask you to read this,and to comment.keep your hands and mouth to yourself.ive had enough of you too, much too long ago.if you were reading my blog all along,and observant enough,one was dedicated to you long long ago.
if i had more time id write longer.much longer.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009